Gratitude Journal (1) : The Existence
The ultimate thing I take for granted the most
We’ve read it so many times from different sources: gratitude. Gratitude is the core of self-awareness, to be grateful for what we have and who we are. I’ve read and practiced it so many times too. But it is instead an on- and off-program — at some point, I stuck to it for a whole month, then something “more important” happened, and I forgot about it again. It is indeed challenging to be grateful as part of my identity.
Just last week, the YouTube algorithm showed this video on my homepage. Dr. Amit Sood is a great presenter. He bundled the gratitude benefits into a fun but deep context. In the last section of his TED Talk, he shared another method to be grateful: think about five important people in our lives and send our solemn gratitude to them.
Probably it was because of the atmosphere I was in when I watched the video and practiced that — it clicked with me how the gratitude felt in my heart and body. I closed my eyes and put my palm on my heart; the first persons that came to mind were my parents. It struck me: my existence. We are four siblings, with my mother having another four miscarriages. Out of eight pregnancies she had, I am one of the alive beings. That, itself, is amazing. My thought went through some memories of my childhood, when I was at school, being reminded every single time to study by them. I never had to worry about food and all things I needed. They always provided. My existence is because of these great blessings and magic, and also: their work, their struggle, sweat, and tears.
I stopped my thought from going further and tried to sink in deeper into that gratitude sensation that I’d never felt before. It reminds me how existence itself; I take it for granted most of the time. The chances to be alive, and still until today. Suddenly all the earthy worry I had in mind seemed small.
With this energy from the universe, the miraculous blessing from God, no problem in the world should make me scared — when my existence itself requires unexplainable energy and factors. I came from nothing. There was no Fatma before February 1988.
I must say, this experience was an important milestone in practicing gratitude. I feel it deeply in my heart. I sense the goosebumps on my skin, and I smile because of the peace I have.
The world might be a mess right now. But my being alive is something that should not be bothered by the world’s problems. I am using my existence to keep looking at my life’s meaning.
Thank you for reading this article! I’d love to read your thoughts and experience on this topic in the comment section. Get your membership to get full access to every story on Medium and to support me and other writers you read : )
