Keep Rediscovering My Faith

Fatmawati Santosa
6 min readJan 1, 2023
Photo by Iva Rajović on Unsplash

I was baptized as a Catholic when I was 12 years old. The prerequisites to get there — wearing the lovely white dress, getting the holy water poured down to my forehead, and hearing the priest say, “I baptize you in the name of Father, and Son, and Holy Spirit” — took me a whole year. There was a preparation class for our age group, and every Sunday, we had to collect the signature of the priest whose mass we attended. Besides that, we wrote a summary of their sermons.

During my teenage life, being Catholic had meant that I could receive the Holy Eucharist. I went to a Catholic school for all of my school life, so it kind of made sense.

Prayer and the unspeakable words

From an early age, I hated being asked to lead a prayer. I am not good at quickly saying good sentences to God. I remember, sometimes, I made the cross, closed my eyes, and got nothing to say to God for some seconds. Then, I picked to recite the Our Father or Hail Mary prayer. Thanks for the providing the default prayer, Church!

For the last three years of my high school life, I sang with the school choir. My main goal was to participate in the National Choir Competition. But since we belonged to the Catholic school, we also served the music in the mass. One day I came across a new repertoire, Known To You, which lyrics composed by…

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Fatmawati Santosa

sharing thoughts, experience, and lessons learned | an engineer on working days and a dreamer for most of the time :)