Managing The Frequent Overwhelming Situation

It is like a recalibration process: to adjust the view, the purpose, the mind, and the action with clarity

Fatmawati Santosa

--

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

“I am tired; I need longer sleep before this routine starts…”
“Oh man, this project is a never-ending story, each day, a new problem shows up.”
“I don’t care about health. I just clicked my online food order. No time to cook for dinner.”
“I will read that book tomorrow; I deserve some Netflix today.”
“I don’t need to exercise today, and my body is tired enough from work.”
“That task can wait until tomorrow.”

I hated myself when I answered someone asking, “How are you doing?” with “I am overwhelmed.” It shows that I lose control of my time management, mood, and mental- and physical- well-being. I hate to admit that I am not able to organize my thoughts. The unfinished businesses (primarily work-related) stay in my head when they are not supposed to be.

“Probably after the weekend, it’ll get better.” It is not a surprise that it was not getting better; because I didn’t know what to do to improve it, and I didn’t even try to find a way to improve it. Until I was in my 30s, I told myself, “You can’t do this to yourself. It is unhealthy, and you’ll never get better if you don’t change.”

Reminiscing old memories

I have lived abroad for ten years. Before the pandemic, I went home once each year to visit my family and friends. On my fourth time at home, I sat next to my father while we had dinner and realized the wrinkles between his eyes and all-white hair. A year has been wasted without being close to them, and I miss so many things to share. When my friends and I had a reunion dinner, I realized how I was outdated in many local topics, even the new slang. The place where I call home somehow feels extraneous.

I asked myself, why am I choosing this life. From the outside — and LinkedIn profile, I look great. And I do feel great about my achievement too. But there are so many consequences to living this option. I left all the comforts and familiarities from where I was born and lived for 24 years.

--

--

Fatmawati Santosa

sharing thoughts, experience, and lessons learned | an engineer on working days and a dreamer for most of the time :)