Our Family Love

With actions? Words? I understand how they love me : )

Fatmawati Santosa
4 min readJun 13, 2022


Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

In the Instagram posts shared by @ourgrandfatherstory, Auntie Mui Lan said,

“In our culture, we don’t really say I love you (to our family members). … actions speak louder than words.”

Honestly, I don’t remember ever saying that to my family. I used to tell my parents, “Papa, Mama, sehat-sehat ya. Tuhan berkati.” (translation: Papa, Mama, be healthy. God bless you.) To my siblings, “Koko/ Cici, sehat-sehat ya, lancar-lancar kerjaannya.”(translation: Big brother/ Big sister, be healthy, hope things go smooth with your job.)

I can totally relate to when Autie Mui Lan said, “Actions speak louder than words.”

When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend

It was one of the most horrible experiences. I was hurt, I was disappointed, and I was angry with my ex and also with myself. It was a life-changing experience.

During that time, my brother and I worked in the same company, the same building, but in a different department. We rarely have lunch together, just occasionally. But I remember during that dark period, he called me and asked me to have lunch.

It was a silent lunch. I think it would be different if it were lunch with my sister or besties, we would be loud and bad-mouthing my ex a lot. My brother asked how I was doing and my plan for the weekend. It was not a lot of chat, but it was a lunch I would never forget. Sometime later, I heard from my other brother that they actually called each other and talked about me, worried if I felt sad for too long.

When I broke my rib because I slipped in the bathroom

For years I have lived by myself, but on one ordinary evening, I fell in the bathroom. My rib hit the bathtub wall, and there it was: the most painful pain I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I laid down on the floor, clenched my teeth, and closed my eyes for some minutes until the pain slightly went away. It was around 10 o’clock in the evening. I was thinking should I call the ambulance, my brother, or try to be strong and wait until tomorrow. I chose the last option.



Fatmawati Santosa

sharing thoughts, experience, and lessons learned | an engineer on working days and a dreamer for most of the time :)